The Murmatrons

Photo credit: Stive ‘Lens-Flare’ Gonzales

“Mr Speaker, this is Chewbacca.”

“Chewbacca is a Wookiee from the planet Kashyyyk, but Chewbacca lives on the planet Endor.”

“Now, think about that Mr Speaker. That DOES NOT MAKE SENSE!”

“Why would a Wookiee, an eight-foot tall Wookiee, want to live on Endor, with a bunch of two-foot tall Ewoks?”

“That DOES NOT MAKE SENSE!”

“But more important, you have to ask yourself Mr Speaker: What does this have to do with the current economic crisis? Nothing. Mr Speaker, it has nothing to do with the current economic crisis! It does NOT MAKE SENSE!”

“Look at me. I'm the Chancellor of the Exchequer defending the bankrupt UK economy, and I'm talkin' about Chewbacca! Does that make sense? Mr Speaker, I am not making any sense! None of this makes sense!”

“And so Mr Speaker; the honourable members of this house have to remember, when they're in the lobbies deliberatin' and conjugatin' the Emancipation Proclamation - Does it make sense?”

“No! Mr Speaker and honourable members of this supposed Parliament, it DOES NOT MAKE SENSE!”

“If Chewbacca lives on Endor, you must have faith in the Royal Bank of Scotland!”

Update 2008-10-09

Captain Wookiee has now announced the golden parachute ‘bail-out’ package for the UK's scumbag money thieves banks. Thankfully, the problem in the UK is nowhere near as bad as in the United States, so the UK taxpayer only needs to underwrite another £400 billion slush fund on top of the more-than-generous £100 billion in handouts already made. That works out at a bargain-basement £16,000 each. If you convert to dollars, you can see that with the much smaller UK economy and the much less serious problem it's only $860 billion dollars, a paltry sum dwarfed by the $900 billion or so that's been doled out to ‘fix’ the mess on the other side of the pond.

Globally, over $2 trillion has been picked out of the public pocket and they haven't even got warmed up yet...

“What's that? Credit Default Swaps? Credit Default Options? I've no idea what you're talking about. Hey! Look over there at the funny monkey!”

Murmatron ‘Twilight Zone’ Correspondent

Credits: Alistair Darling's economic policy is based on the ‘Chewbacca defense’.