The Murmatrons

With a veritable whirl-storm of choices to choose from, the Murmatrons have compiled this handy guide to the best Lunix for your server pages.

You can reference the hand scoring systems to compare the apples and oranges of it all, thus arriving at an informed opinion as to why Gentoo went the same way as the space-hopper and the CueCat.

The historical Lunix

Lunix, being the very old operating system kernel that it is, was invented in 1953 by Darl McBride and Andrew Tanenbaum. The project was receiving funding from Novell, IBM, Sun Microsystems and AT&T. Unfortunately, during the particularly feisty office party, someone of the above listed miscreants have lost the 'Asset Purchase Agreement' down the back of a photocopier machine. Thus it was that Linus Torvalds who was at that time funding his education as a contract cleaner came across the 'Intellectual Profity Rights' to Unix System V on an old crumpled piece of paper and made it into Lunix on a Usenet Group for disgruntled Java programmers.

Since then, Lunix have been added to by Richard Stallman and many others who put the special features like gnus and bloat, cruft and bugs in to make it mor like every other operating system on the shop shelf except you can buy it for free.

Because you can buy it for free, many people have taken the Lunix and shuffled it about with hiding the files in different places to confuse people. This is known in the business as 'Creating a Distribution' and it is necessarily the case that ther are 1.7million (estimated) different Lunix distributions available via your gogglesphere browser. Fortunately, it is also the case that nearly 1.7million of these distributions are not very good and we shal not evaluate that many for the ultimate test.

Off now we shal go to look at which of the Lunix Distributions will float your goat in the best possible fashion.

Lunix from Scratch

LFS logo made by the Murmatrons

Unfortunately the first thing we are noticed about the Lunix from Scratch (LFS) is that the poor folks have not a logo. For to be taken seriously in the world of Lunix one must have a logo of a penguin or a hat or a squiggle. Here we have created a logo for the LFS using a penguin and a hat. We have not incorporated a squiggle for the 3D Blender tools utilised herein have no Insert Squiggle option menu that we can find. The wooly hat of the penguin will have the unavoidable effect of the itchy head after a time of wearing and thus the scratching is signified also by this logo. The icy surroundings of the penguin represent the 'coolness' of using LFS for surely one must keep cool when spending 3 weeks installing Lunix.

Now that we have the logo of LFS we can get down to the mor serious business of looking at the insides and outsides of what the system can do for you.

Summary

Debian GNU/Lunix

The Debian Lunix is mostly used because of the 'Debian Social Contract' and the striking squiggly logo which you can see for yourself here on this very page. We would very much have liked to incorporate a squiggle of this type into the LFS logo with the penguin and hat, but alas we were thwarted with the software programs. This alone may begin to give you an idea of the tremendous versatilities of the Debian Lunix system which has over 750,000 software bits all packaged up in the suppository for you to download as and when required. Unfortunately, a large portions of the 750,000 software bits are Pearl packages which individually do not do very much at all but when combined will produce the incomprehensile mess of regular expressions that not even you can understand and unless you intend to grope many files with Slashcode you will probably hate to have them all installed.

It is possible for Debians to have a very compacted install so that there is not much cruft that does not be necessary. The Murmatrons recommend that you install only Apache and Tux-Racer for the optimised server environment and indeed this is the default install for every Debian system that we know of.

Summary

Knoppic Boot Grubber

Here we can see the Knoppic Boot Grubber which can make your system from CD and is the very same to have rescued the Murmatron Server in Episode 5 when the kernel have been spooked into the panic. The logo being the most important part shows the penguin and some geometric shapes such as circles and squares around it. Not nearly as striking as the Debian logo or the special Murmatron LFS logo but you can tell that the logo is good however since it surely appears no less than five (5) times on the single Homepage of Doctor Knoppic who have invented it.

With Knoppic you can test the Lunix system on a thousand machines in a shop and see wich one is the best server page performance and then install from the CD on the best one with the 'Eliminate Windows XP for NTFS partition' option menu. This is surely a nifty feature and you can use it to turn your local Computer Shop display inventory into the Lunix server farm cluster in less than two shakes of a goat's milk.

Summary

Gentoo

As you have seen here the logo of the Gentoo Lunix which is supposed to be the letter g from the name. It has no penguin or hat or squiggle anywhere in the sights and is generally not very coloured to excite the eye. Gentoo is of course the special kind of Lunix for special people. It has for sometimes been known in the field of technical Lunix arenas as the 'Short Bus' distribution. It is where you must compile all the programs from source code and wait for several days or weeks while you pretend that you will have the more secured and optomistic system as the result of this. It is partially like the Lunix from Scratch except that you may be able to use it if you have a part-time job to go to but entirely unlike Lunix from Scratch in that it will not be necessary to have the faintest idea what you are up to.

Summary

Conclusion

After the testing of all 1.7million Lunix distributions and selecting only the finest for your review here on this page we have concluded that ther are 1.699996million which cannot be use to any real effect in a world of 24/7 available server pages. Of the remaining 4, it seems that the clear winners and losers are ther for both of you to see with your own eyes but you must choose amongst them yourself using the handy comparison quick chart reference table below